Not Without You
by thesilencekeeper
Summary: Sheldon Cooper is not a stranger when it comes to pain. Will recent events between him and Amy be enough to drive him out of the country? One-shot Shamy fan fiction.


**A/N: Hello! I'm new around here. This is my super cliche fanfic of ShAmy. Wrote this one about 3 months ago. Uhm... I don't know what to say. The TLOR paraphrase at the end of this story came from shamyconfessions on tumblr.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of The Big Bang Theory (just borrowing).**

"You're going to be an Accelerator Physicist?!" asked Leonard. He didn't mean to startle his roommate but he couldn't

believe what the lanky Physicist just said.

"Yes, Leonard. Was I not clear with what I just said?" he accentuated, looking at his friend who had a look of confusion

on his face. "I will be joining the team who will be working at the Low Energy Ion Ring at CERN. I don't see how I could've

made that any clearer."

Leonard was still having a hard time processing what Sheldon was telling him. Granted working at CERN is a truly

exceptional opportunity, he can't believe that his friend agreed to be an Accelerator Physicist. "Sheldon, you do know

what an Accelerator Physicist is, right?"

"Leonard, I have an IQ of 187, it would be highly unacceptable to not be aware of such banal information like knowing

what that title means.'' But finally realizing why his friend was fixating on the job title, he followed up, "And yes, I am

well aware of what the job entails. I believe I understand your confusion. It is quite a step down indeed, but I just

couldn't let the chance slip; working at CERN, even as a mere engineer is still a big deal. It's CERN. It's the Mecca of

scientists."

The experimental physicist was thoughtful. He was looking at his friend with great concern in his eyes that made the guy

turn his gaze to his cup of tea. Both physicists were quiet for a moment. "You're right. You can excel at anything, no

doubt about that. When you give it your 100%, there's a lot that you can accomplish. I'm proud of you," he said,

standing up and patting his friends' shoulder lightly. "I'm going to miss you buddy."

"Of course you will." said Sheldon, earning him an eye roll from his best friend. Leonard turned and was headed for the

hallway. "Leonard wait," he called. When he turned around Sheldon was already up from his spot, he arched his brows

then said, "I'd like you to keep this information to yourself for now." He was now looking at his friend intently, "Please."

Leonard felt just how important his request was. He nodded and smiled, then turned to walk down the short hallway,

then to his room.

When Sheldon was sure that he was inside his bedroom, he crossed the living room to retrieve his carrier's bag and

headed out the door.

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Amy was about to get out of the house when she noticed a white envelope on the floor, near the door. She picked it up

and carefully tears one side to get the paper inside. Before she unfolds the paper, a knock sounded on her door and she

was eager to open it.

Before her stood a man who was wearing a brown button up shirt, both sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He had

curly hair, with light blonde highlights. He was smiling and his eyes, the shade of hazel, were filled with anticipation.

"Thomas," greeted Amy, reciprocating his smile. "Are you ready?" asked the man. "Yes, just let me grab my keys." She

realized she was still holding the paper. She decided she would read it when she comes back. She picked up her keys and

left the paper on her coffee table. She stepped outside her apartment, locked the door and the pair headed for the

stairs.

"I'm a bit nervous about my lecture," he said quietly. She looked at him and gave her one of her sweetest smile and said,

"You know everything by heart. You'll do great."

They took Thomas' car to UCLA for the lecture that he was going to lead that morning. They talked about the details of

the discussion while in the car. Amy was still having a hard time believing that she was sitting next to the guy who, until

about 3 weeks ago, she thought hated him. This was the same guy from whom she took an inhaler from in her desperate

attempt to get her first kiss, 11 years ago. Was it fate, perhaps that led them to that market that day; both reaching for

the last bag of oranges. He immediately recognized her, but she was clueless as to who he was because he's changed a

lot since their first year in grad school. Since then, they've been going out several times a week, going to the movies,

having dinner or just hanging out; catching up on latest events or talking about their years in Harvard, occasionally

bringing up that embarrassing move that she did to steal a kiss from him.

They passed by one of the train stores that she and Sheldon frequented when they were together. She teared her gaze and looked at Thomas instead. "What?" Thomas asked her, flashing another one of his gorgeous smile at her.

"Nothing, just… Thinking about how you're going to school them today," she lied, but smiled back at him.

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Sheldon was situated at the same table that he and Amy occupied on that same day, 6 years ago. None of his friends

knew about his trip to Switzerland that day. Not even Leonard. He didn't tell him that he was leaving the next day to

avoid any questions they might ask. He was never compulsive. He always had plans; but he knew that he couldn't take

the pain anymore. He accepted the offer from CERN that would guarantee a 5-year stay in Switzerland. His heart was

broken, beyond repair and he needs a way out. He knew that there was a little chance of Amy showing up today, but he

was hopeful. He slid a letter through her door the night before that contained some of the things he bottled up

throughout the year that they were apart. He asked her to meet him at the coffee shop because he wanted no regrets

before he left; he wants a clean slate. He was going to propose to her. If she says yes, he will stay, if she says no… Like

what he promised in the letter, she will never hear from him again. He just wanted to know once and for all, if there was

still a second chance.

His flight was at 3 in the afternoon. He told Amy through the letter that he'll be there by 8 AM. He told Leonard he

wasn't feeling well that morning as an excuse for not going to work. He didn't question Sheldon because he did look

unwell because of his lack of sleep. When his phone showed 1:30, he knew he had to give up. With a heavy heart, he

stood up and went out of the shop. He glanced back inside, then looked around the place, still hoping that maybe she

was there somewhere. "No sign of Amy," he thought. Everything that he was taking with him to CERN was already

checked in at the airport so all he had with him was his usual bag. He was going to hail a cab when his hand felt the ring

in his pocket. Glancing inside the shop, one more time, he pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. "I need a clean slate,"

he whispered.

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Amy got home at exactly 2 in the afternoon. She flopped down on her couch, sleep starting to slowly claim her because

of having to wake up earlier than usual that day. She was lying on her stomach and her face was facing her coffee table.

That's when she noticed the envelope and the paper. She sat up and took the paper to read whatever is in it.

She froze when she opened the letter. She hasn't read anything but Dear Amy but she knew that intricate handwriting

too well that she didn't even need to see the signature at the bottom. It was from Sheldon.

Her eyes got wider and wetter as she read through the content of the white paper. Her hands were shaking and tears

began falling from her eyes.

I will be waiting for you. I'll be at the coffee shop as early as 8am. I just need to talk to you and tell you

everything that's been swarming in my head since the day you broke up with me. I would understand if you

don't show up. This is nothing but a mere request, after all. After this day, rest assured that I will never bother

you ever again.

Her eyes read the last paragraph at least 3 times before she came back to her senses and looked at her watch. It was 10

past 2. She bolt right up, quickly grabbing her keys and darted out the door. Tears still streaming her face, she started to

drive away. He didn't mention anything in the letter but there's something in that last line that gave her the worst

feeling of fear that she's ever had. What was he going to do? What did he mean when he said he wouldn't bother me

ever again? her mind was starting to be filled with questions that are only making her feel worse.

She pulled in front of the coffee shop and quickly went inside, scanning the place frantically. She can't see him

anywhere. He wasn't there. A cold feeling started crawling up her spine as realization hit her. She missed him. He

already left.

She went out of the coffee shop, walking aimlessly. She felt weak. The kind of weakness that she's never felt before.

"Where was he?" she thought. As if on cue, her phone started to ring. She held it up and saw Leonard calling. She

answered the call with a weak "Hello".

"Hi Amy, uhm… where are you? Are you doing anything right now? Because if not I—"

"Leonard, where is he?" Amy interrupted, now with tears quickly falling down her cheeks.

"Actually, that's what I was calling about. I just got home and I found a note on my desk. Can we meet? If you're still at

university, I'll come pick you up," Leonard said, with concern in his voice.

"No. I'm not at the university. I'll go to your apartment." She hung up and got into her car. Driving to Los Robles, she can

still feel tears just rolling down on her cheeks. She didn't know what to think. She had no idea what is going on, but she's

certain that she doesn't want anything else than just to see Sheldon; know that he's okay.

Amy dragged her feet up the stairs, to get to 4A. She felt weak and terrified as to what Leonard might tell her about

Sheldon. She knocked on the door and Leonard opened it right away. He let her inside the apartment, all the while

looking at her with concern. She turned around and looked at the short physicist and asked, "Where is he?"

Leonard explained everything to Amy. He told her Sheldon's plan to move to Switzerland because of the job offer. He

told her he didn't know that Sheldon was leaving today and just found the note on his desk this afternoon. Sheldon

apologized and informed him about his flight through the note.

Amy felt numb. After hearing the words "he left this afternoon for Switzerland", he was nothing but a sound in the

background. The tears stopped falling; she noticed that much. She was staring at Sheldon's spot. He left. "Did he do that

because of me?" she thought. Closing her eyes and letting go of the breath that she was holding, she turned, walked

past Leonard, and went out of the apartment, him standing with a confused look on his face.

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Amy went back to her apartment; not really wanting to talk to anyone or be seen by any of her friends. Penny and

Bernadette tried calling her, but she just ignored their calls and turned off her phone. Making her way up to her

apartment, she felt like she was just dragging her body because she felt weak in a way that she just wants to lay down

and not move at all.

She turned to the corner hall that leads to her door, but she stopped in her tracks once she saw him. With a huge

luggage beside him, Sheldon was sitting in front of her door with his arms wrapped around his knees. He fell asleep,

waiting for her.

"Sheldon..." she whispered, her eyes suddenly filled with tears again. With his sensitive hearing, he rarely misses even

the sound of whispers around him; at the sound of her voice, he opened his eyes and looked up. He saw Amy crying, just

staring at him, and standing just about two meters away from him. He rose and said her name, slowly walking towards

her. Amy ran and met him with a tight hug. She was sobbing silently and Sheldon wrapped her in his arms with the equal

force. He too, was now crying; his brain was working frantically but he made a side note that this was a very unusual

occurrence. He never cries.

"Amy… I'm sorry—for being a bad boyfriend. For taking you for granted almost every time; for pushing you away when

all you wanted was just to be closer to me. I apologize for not giving you the kind of love that you deserve. I was a fool

who thought I was above all human emotions, but I recognize now that I was wrong. All this time, all I ever wanted is to

be with you because you… you're the first person who accepted me for who I truly am. Most people ridicule me and my

ways, but you took everything that is me. I was blinded by the idea of superiority, scared that by giving in to what I

honestly feel will wreck my future; hinder me from achieving something big. I know better now…" he said, all the while,

the two of them, just crying and hugging each other tighter.

Amy pulled back to try and look at him. He met her gaze and they stared into each other's eyes that were both filled

with so many emotions. "Sheldon, you were never a bad boyfriend. Yes, I did want more things than what you were

capable of giving me, but see that was my problem. You're right; I accepted you for who you are; I knew what that

entailed but I was pressured by the idea of what romance is supposed to be. Sheldon, I love you and everything about

you."

They held each other's gaze for almost a minute, but Sheldon was now smiling. The sight of his genuinely beautiful smile

filled Amy's heart with so much warmth and soon she felt her lips pulling up to smile back at him.

Sheldon stepped back and held her hand with his left one while the right one wiped his tears. "You probably have a lot

of questions about what happened today, but I need to ask you something first." He let go of her hand and took a deep

breath. He pulled something out of his pocket and got down on one knee. This made Amy's hand fly up to cover her

mouth. Her eyes went wide and she couldn't believe what was happening.

"Amy, are you still familiar with Lord of the Rings?" He asked, making her brows furrow in confusion. "Yes," she

answered. "Very well, allow me to continue then." He looked at her, with his eyes full of love and sincerity. "Of all the

mistakes I've made, and all of the opportunities I've passed up, living in this world without you is something that I would

never repeat. If the idea of a multiverse is real, then you should know that I want to be with you in every universe out

there that includes us." He held the ring with his right hand and raised it to level with his face; he then clears his throat

and said, "I'd like to paraphrase one the lines from one of the best tales ever told," he took a deep breath, let it out and

began, "One ring to show our love, one ring to bind us. One ring to seal our love and forever entwine us; Amy Farrah

Fowler, I want to share the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Sheldon, I would love nothing else but to be with you. I'm never letting you go again." She pulled him up by his

arms and crushed her lips into his. Kissing deeply and passionately; something that they've never done before. They

slowly wrapped each other with another tight hug, like they never want to let go again.

He left her lips, both breathless from the intense kiss. They were smiling at each other and their gazes were locked. "I

love you, Amy," he said in the sweetest voice she ever heard from him. "I love you too, Sheldon." She said with the

biggest smile. They held each other in an embrace with both hearts finally feeling relieved and happier than both have

even been in their lives, knowing that starting today, they will be in each others life forever.


End file.
